Devonian SRE · Vice Admiral Spliff & Innovation Director · Bastion of Truth
🦕 Devonian Era · Less of a Dick · E92 325i Enjoyer"The control arm's fine — I'll do it next weekend. Look, mate, I've rebuilt this suspension three times. I know exactly what I'm doing. Hand me that spanner." — Tig, about to replace the same ball joint for the fourth time
Tig is a Devonian-era Site Reliability Engineer — which means he's been keeping things running since long before "cloud" was a word people used unironically. He is, and this is important, less of a dick than he used to be. Growth is real. He's worked on it.
By title, he serves as Vice Admiral Spliff and Innovation Director — a role he both created and refuses to define. By reputation, he is the Bastion of Truth, a living monument to saying exactly what he thinks and not caring if you like it. By nickname, he is Tigie Wigie or Tigles, depending on how brave you're feeling.
Has kept systems running since before Kubernetes was a twinkle in Google's eye. Ancient, wise, slightly dusty.
Loves his E92 325i with an passion that borders on religious. Has replaced every suspension component at least twice.
Really, genuinely enjoys changing suspension components. Control arms, coilovers, bushings — this is his happy place.
Known far and wide as the Bastion of Truth. What he says goes. He's usually right. He'll let you know either way.
Depending on who you are and how close you stand, Tig goes by many names:
Tig's relationship with his E92 325i is one of the great love stories of our time. He has replaced every suspension component on that car — the control arms, the bushings, the coilovers, the sway bar links, the top mounts — sometimes twice, sometimes just because he felt like it. He genuinely enjoys it. While others see labour, Tig sees a weekend well spent with a jack, a torque wrench, and absolutely no one bothering him.
Rumour has it that Tig once spent a soft and supple night with Dagger. It was tender, it was beautiful, and it was — as the hashtag goes — #notgay. Two bastions of truth, sharing a moment of vulnerability in the Devonian moonlight. We don't ask questions. We just respect it.